december 13, 2009. surprises do more than they're used to. even at times we can't help but get surprised more than the meaning of the term. just this pm, i was caught offguard when a friend blatantly told me of the things i fear admitting, not even to myself. that friend was so honest and succinct in the statement: "at times you do things and say words because you want me to feel guilty and jealous."
ouch! it was a slap with a caress of love. CHOS! i wanted to burst. i wanted to cry, SHUT UP! but i can't. the bartender was listening nearby. the chef turned her eyes at us, perhaps expecting a bizarre transformation.
anyway, i told that friend, i know i did it, with such intentions. then surprisingly, i saw in the face a smile - not just a simple smile, silly. it was a smile of acceptance. then the remark i heard was that, "Don't worry, with that i know you're a real person." then, i asked my friend, honestly, with the month's we've been together, can you truly say you've experienced that i am important to you? were you also jealous if i gave you tall-tales?
i was holding on the neck of the san mig light ready to punch my friend should the answer was a lie. but you know what, my friend said, "look at me. Straight in the eyes. I honestly say this to you, you are important to me. Yes, i felt the jealousy."
RELAX DEAR STUDENTS, THE STORY IS NOT YET OVER.
at that moment, i felt the world stopped. the clock seemed to forget ticking another second. i was in heaven. the haven of the hopeless soul turning into an angel. only two solid tears dropped from the center of my eyeballs. MUTA GALI... hehehehe.... pati ah.
my friend made me realize this evening that someone like me could be loved. it's not impossible. my friend deliberately struck me with a sword embroidered with honesty and love, enabling me to go back to myself. i know i could outshine my adversaries. i could readily offer solutions to problems. i could be a good leader. i could be somebody i wanted to be. EXCEPT THAT, I USED TO BELIEVE I AM INCAPABLE OF LOVING AND BEING LOVED. my friend told me to stop thinking this. my friend made it clear to me that i am being loved.
RIGHT THERE AND THEN, I REMEMBERED THE LESSON I'VE LEARNED... ONE COULD NOT SAY S/HE HAS LOVED UNLESS S/HE LOVES HIMSELF/HERSELF. at times we tend to forget that if there is one person who needs our love, care, understanding, compassion, it's NOBODY, NOBODY but YOURSELF.
ANY COMMENT OUT THERE?
isa lng ang mahambal ko. . feeling ko daw kilala ko ang frnd mo. . hahaha. . let me guess. . . ahhhhhmm. . si kwan guro hay?. . hahaha. . ti nami ka gd man nga leader .. pwede png president ka philippines. . chos lng .. ano kuno hmbal ni kap hw? hehe. . just kidding. . c",).. harhar. . sir kilala ko bla ang blind item mo .. haha. . hala kw. . hehe. .by the way. . wla ko ka comment bla sa isa mo ka gn post jan. . nalipat ko. . damu daad comment ko py. . well i was just curious sa tung saying mo bla nga (hindi ko nakuha ang exact lines) "i felt so distraught because someone's trying to take away someone special to me. ." remember? feeling ko daw kilala ko ang special someone nga to. . hahaha. . feeling ko gd tna. . sabi ng aura ko. . hahahaha. . c",). . just kidding!!!!!
ReplyDeletehahahaha.... you made me laugh... sino nga sir gina-mean mo? basi dear? anyway, i'll leave it to you. just continue and enjoy guessing. but who knows what is blogged may be real or fiction di ba? the point is that LOVE MUST COME FROM WITHIN.
ReplyDeleteonly when we truly love ourself can we say that we are capable of loving.
dear, pano natun mahambal nga love na natun sarili ta hay?? anu ang mga signs ngalove natun ang sarili natun, panu natun ma man a nga we accepted the real us, panu natun maman an nga kilalang kilala nagid natun ang atun ga self. By all means dear teach me to love msyself so that i could love others, cause its really hard to love someone especially those very special to you if you even dont know how to love your. Ung feeling ba dear na wala ka guid bala sarig sa imo nga kaugalingong, nang bala nga la ka kaisog maghambal or maisturya sa imo nga special someone kay wala ka gid ya confidence sa imo self. How could I increase my self confidence?? me labot bala ina sa pag palangga mo sa kaugalingon mo?? please dear gimme some advices. Thank you and have a nice christmas ^_^!!!
ReplyDeletesory sa mga sala nga words please paki intindi nalang. kay kabudlaw sang keyboard ko gid.
ReplyDelete